Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance, and it puts me in a rather somber mood.
Today, more than most days, I am focused inward and I scrutinize my experiences. It’s dangerous living as an open and proud transgender individual. It’s just as dangerous being a person of color, especially if you identify as male. I’m lucky, I guess. I’ve only lost my job and been denied a job. I’ve not been assaulted or had someone try to kill me because of my gender expression or the color of my skin. I get to pick up the pieces, scattered as they may be, and try again. Others are not as lucky.
In any case, here’s the text of a post I made on Facebook:
Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance.
I implore you, my friends, remember those who have passed on, not just from violent acts committed against them by other people, but from violent acts committed against themselves.
Transgender lives are lost not just from violence, but also from suicide. In the struggle to become more authentic to ourselves, we all face our inner demons that tell us that “we’ll never ‘pass’ for what we see inside” or that “we’re not good enough for love”. Many of us win that war over many battles; others do not.
This is why I fight on. Why I continue to lend my voice, my identity, and my history as a speaker. I may not be as well-known as Ryan Sallans or Buck Angel, but my story and my voice are just as important as theirs.
So, I’ve been super-lax in updating here. My apologies! Life is definitely in a kerfluffle right now for me. Broken thumb from a Midna accident, Service Coordinator Training, Homework, Necessary car repairs. You name it, it’s going on.
I also owe people some art once my thumb heals. Because, tribals! =D
2 Tbsp. Chopped Garlic
2 Medium Sweet Onions (I used Vidalias), Chopped Finely
2 28oz cans Crushed Tomatoes
24 oz. Canned Garbanzo Beans (Fresh can be used, too, but boil to soften before adding!)
1 Tbsp. Coriander Powder
3 Tbsp. Garam Masala
16 oz. Water
1/2 c. Sugar
2 Tbsp. Olive Oil
1. Prepare chickpeas according to their packaging (If using canned, skip this step.)
2. In a medium-sized frying pan on medium heat, heat the olive oil. Once it has gotten hot, add the onions and garlic. Cook them until soft/slightly brown from frying.
3. Once the onion and garlic are where you need them to be, add the garam masala and coriander powder. Stir them together and form them into a paste-like consistency.
4. In a separate pot (I suggest using a dutch oven or slow cooker), add the crushed tomatoes and garbanzo beans, stirring them over medium heat.
5. Once the tomato and garbanzo bean mixture is heated thoroughly, add the onion-garlic-spice mixture and stir to incorporate.
6. Add the sugar and water, and stir to combine.
7. Turn the heat down to medium low, cover, and let cook. Stir occasionally. This can be left on for as little as an hour up to four hours. I suggest letting it cook for the entire four hours to let the flavors meld better.
Serve with naan or any other “classic” chili toppings. When I made this last, I used mashed potatoes, cheese, and sour cream!
9 oz. Pineapple Juice
2 oz. Soy Sauce
2 Tbsp. Honey
1 1/2 tsp. Worcestershire Sauce
1 1/2 tsp. Garlic (Chopped)
Chill for 30+ minutes.
For sauce, bring to a boil and and reduce until desired thickness. Let cool, if using as a dipping sauce.
I’ve struggled for the past month or so over how I wanted to reimage/rebrand the site since I basically was given a blank canvas to work from with losing all of the previous content. People either know me as Samii or Milan, or both, so why not use that to my advantage?
Given that much of my focus seems to be on food these days (I’ve had the “restaurant dream”, instead of the “noodle dream” on numerous occasions), why not do what I intended to do originally and post my original recipes (again) and also review new foods that are out and about? I’m constantly looking for new ingredients that I can use in recipes, so I figure I could write about those. I don’t expect to gain notoriety from this venture — there’s so many food review websites out there –, but it’s something I still constantly feel passionate about. And, well, if someone happens to notice what I’m doing, then that’s awesome.
So, roughly a week ago, all of my domain’s SQL databases went corrupt. Not quite sure how or why, but I’m just chalking it up to an instance of “Life Happens” and needing to learn to backup my personal/professional websites in addition to my club’s website (www.LaGarou.org) on a regular basis.
So, what does this mean?
Well, I recently started a new job, so I’ll be working on restoring everything over the course of the next 2 weeks. All I ask is that everyone is patient with me. I lost everything on both sites, so it’ll take a little bit of time to get everything going again.
The positive in this? It’s a new month, and it gives me a major opportunity to focus and fine tune both this and my Portfolio sites so that they’ll both have more of a sense of purpose and renewed direction.