Fighting Inspirations

As you probably know from my various rantings, ravings, and ramblings here, I’m FtM transgender. I lived a good bulk of my life identifying as female and, despite identifying as male/masculine for a while, I still advocate for and understand the challenges of people who identify as female.

I also find it incredibly inspirational when there are badass female fighters who are highlighted in the SCA. Especially for heavy combat.

I’m lucky in that I personally know several female Knights and Masters of Defense in my Kingdom.

Our Queen currently has an all-female Shieldmaiden cadre of champions who stand with her in court and participate in battle with her, as well.

In fact, my most memorable thing from Pennsic this year was standing on the middle bridge waiting to advance with my unit as part of the shield wall, and looking to my right and seeing Her Majesty, the Dread Queen Katherine, take the field with her unit of heavy authorized shield maidens two bridges down from me. Knowing the ferocity of each fighter out there, that was a glorious thing. It was also incredible to have my girlfriend, Baronessa Petrona, on the shield wall with me. Like our Queen, she had authorized in heavy to take the field at Pennsic.

But, the point is, that representation matters. Especially in a game that is dominated by men, it’s always amazing to me to see any female-identified person match them and be their equal. Even more so for the young girls who are looking for their place in the world.

This hits me hard because I was, at one point, a little girl looking for their place in the world. I grew up in the era of Xena and Gabrielle, of watching old episodes of Wonder Woman, of playing Tomb Raider. All of these examples of strong, powerful female warriors. And I loved swords. Okay, any weapon, really, but really, really loved pointy-stabbies. I don’t think joining the SCA would have changed my desire to transition, but I have to admit that seeing such incredible living legends such as Countess Sir Fern and Duchess Sir Elina would have gestalted me into heavy fighting a lot sooner. They still serve as inspiration when I have moments of imposter syndrome, too. If they could put the time, energy, and effort in, so can I.

I’m hoping that these people serve as inspiration for the next generation of female fighters. That their stories and experiences perpetuate the magic that is embedded in the fabric of the Dream we weave. That we have a new generation of female SCAdians who know that they have an equal place at the table for whatever interests suit their fancy.

Compleat Anachronist – Phase I

So, because of a comment from Mistress Sofya Chyudskaya Smolyanina, I shot off an e-mail to the Editor of Compleat Anachronist on a lark.

Greetings!

I’m currently working on research of transgender and gender non-conforming individuals in the time period of the SCA, as well as conventions for interactions within the Society. Would this be of interest to you and your publishing team? I currently run a class primarily in the Midrealm and Pennsic called “Trans 101 for the SCA: A Primer” that my submission would be based on.

I’ve attached my class notes as they stand (I’m continuously working on research to increase my knowledge and class material) for your review.

Thank you in advance for your time and consideration,
Lord Samson Muskovich (called Samii)
mka Milan Nelson

I figured they were going to say “nope, not in the realm of what we do”. But, they didn’t:

Greeting!

This proposal looks quite intriguing! I like it indeed. The biggest focus for CA, of course, is research, so I’d want the research section regarding historical transgender and gender non-conforming individuals to be the largest section, followed, as you currently have it, by a smaller section on interactions/courts within the SCA today. I’d think that the basics could be an introduction, perhaps with a glossary to help define some terms.

But, yes, I’m interested!

You’re aware of CA’s requirements, yes? I need 50-60 pages of 10 point, double-spaced Times New Roman, including images, appendices, endnotes and bibliography. Yes, CA uses endnotes and follows University of Chicago Style, 16th edition.  See here for the submission guidelines. http://www.sca.org/ca/guidelines.html

I am looking forward to reading your manuscript!

In service,

Ariel/Ellen

I think this now qualifies pretty solidly as an A&S Project.  Or Service. Or, perhaps, both?

Either way, guess who now gets to recall the books they requested via InterLibrary Loan so they can properly document their research…

TDoR

Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance, and it puts me in a rather somber mood.

Today, more than most days, I am focused inward and I scrutinize my experiences.┬áIt’s dangerous living as an open and proud transgender individual. It’s just as dangerous being a person of color, especially if you identify as male. I’m lucky, I guess. I’ve only lost my job and been denied a job. I’ve not been assaulted or had someone try to kill me because of my gender expression or the color of my skin. I get to pick up the pieces, scattered as they may be, and try again. Others are not as lucky.

In any case, here’s the text of a post I made on Facebook:

Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance.

I implore you, my friends, remember those who have passed on, not just from violent acts committed against them by other people, but from violent acts committed against themselves.

Transgender lives are lost not just from violence, but also from suicide. In the struggle to become more authentic to ourselves, we all face our inner demons that tell us that “we’ll never ‘pass’ for what we see inside” or that “we’re not good enough for love”. Many of us win that war over many battles; others do not.

This is why I fight on. Why I continue to lend my voice, my identity, and my history as a speaker. I may not be as well-known as Ryan Sallans or Buck Angel, but my story and my voice are just as important as theirs.